Historic Day for the Skins

Ralph Friedgen owes a great deal of thanks to Dan Snyder, Vinny Cerrato, and Jim Zorn for drawing my wrath this week.  However, you are officially on notice, fat man.  After witnessing the futility of your supposedly innovative offense against Rutgers on Saturday, I can’t help but wonder how much of the 100 lbs you lost in the off season was brain mass.  I would be calling for your head if I could figure out where it ends and your body begins, but I digress.

Yesterday my beloved Washington Redskins made NFL history by ending the second longest losing streak in NFL history.  The over-hyped, over-paid, and under-coached Redskins were held scoreless in the first half by a defense that had allowed a combined 72 points over their first two games.  The Skins did score two second half touchdowns but never lead once.  Highly paid corners like DeAngelo Hall ($5 million in 2009), Fred Smoot ($2.7 million), and Carlos Rodgers ($1.4 million) were repeatedly burnt by a rookie quarterback and the lesser of two Johnsons.  Matthew Stafford and Bryant Johnson hooked up four times at 18.3 yards per catch, including an acrobatic 21 yard touchdown reception over Carlos Rodgers with 1:20 left in the 1^st quarter.  By the way, it takes a big man not to laugh at statements like “the lesser of two Johnsons” and the thought of Matt Stafford and Bryant Johnson’s acrobatic hookup.  I am not that man.

In addition to not being able to cover the Lion’s second best receiver, the Redskins were unable to pressure the quarterback and incapable of stopping the run.  Although he did manage one sack, hundred million dollar man, Albert Haynesworth spent more time doubled over struggling for breath than on the field making plays.  That sack was one of Haynesworth’s two tackles on the day.  Second year running back Kevin Smith was averaging 6.3 yards per carry before leaving with an injured shoulder.  The Lions who averaged 248 offensive yards per game going in to Sunday’s contest, moved the ball at will, racking up 381 yards.  The Redskins defense was flat out dominated.

That being said, the Skins still should have won that game.  Quarterback Jason Campbell did everything in his power to keep his team in the game.  Campbell went 27 of 41 for 340 yards, two touchdowns, and only one interception.  His quarterback rating was 97.6.  He accomplished all this despite the lackluster performance of a makeshift offensive line including Chad Rinehart and Stephon Heyer.  Clinton Portis didn’t offer much help with 42 yards but was only called on 12 times, which finally brings me to my point.  Jim Zorn is a moron.  Against a team that had previously allowed 157 and 112 yards on the ground, how could you hand the ball off to your 1500 yard work horse only 12 times?  When a team runs the ball 14 times and throws it 41 it’s not that hard to figure out how to defend them.  In addition to the obviously unbalanced offensive play-calling, Zorn’s decision making was unbelievably bad.  For the second week in a row, Zorn went for it on 4^th and goal, and again the Redskins fell short.  This time the decision came in the first quarter, at the end of a brilliant drive, when a field goal would have given them the lead.  Who forgoes guaranteed points and rolls the dice IN THE FIRST QUARTER?!  Despite the Redskins supposedly superior talent on the field this game was close enough that it came down to clutch play-calling and Jim Zorn was out-coached by Lion’s head coach Jim Schwartz.  The Redskins went 2 for 10 on 3^rd down as they awkwardly failed to execute screens and draws that were doomed from the start.  Meanwhile the Lions went 10 for 18 with newfound gunslinger Matt Stafford looking like Tom Brady.

Jim Zorn should be fired this week, but he won’t be.  The Redskins can’t fire him.  He is the head coach, offensive coordinator, and quarterbacks coach, and there is no one to replace him.  So until the off-season when we can give someone like Mike Shanahan or Bill Cowher a billion dollars to try and right this ship, we’re stuck with him.  But this is D.C., and in D.C. when something goes this wrong, we expect someone to be made an example of.  So if we can’t fire the guy who screwed up, then logically we should fire the guy who hired him.  Unfortunately he owns the team, and in D.C. you can impeach the president but not Dan Snyder.

Snyder has more money than god and has decided to run one of the most prestigious franchises in the NFL like his own personal fantasy team.  There is absolutely nothing we can do about it.  We will never stop going to games, and we will never stop paying $50 to park and $8 for a beer.  Until we do the Skins will continue to be the 2^nd most profitable team in the NFL and Dan Snyder will feel vindicated.  All we can do is reach out to him.  We have to plead with him to admit that Vinny Cerrato is a puppet and cut the strings.  Dan Snyder is a rich geek who knows less about football than anyone reading this story.  Do you know how many offensive linemen we have drafted in the last ten years?  Two.  HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!  How is it possible that we could trade a 2^nd round pick for Jason Taylor and let him walk after one mediocre season?  How could we make Seattle’s quarterbacks coach our head coach without ever even being a coordinator at the professional level?  How could we overlook Greg Williams, a man who had our defense playing at its highest level in years and had earned the respect of every player in the locker room as well as hall of fame predecessor Joe Gibbs?  I’m sorry Dan; you have no idea what you are doing.  Bill Parcells cleaned house in Miami and had them in the playoffs a year after finishing in last place.  Please take a cue from the Dolphins organization and hand the team over to someone who knows the game.   Then you can sit back, count your money, and have even more time to party with TomKat.